Almost a Bride by Jo Watson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Annie knows life isn't always fair. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. Sometimes you get mistaken for a crazed intruder when you come home early and find your boyfriend wearing nipple clamps with a coworker on the night you thought he was going to propose to you.
The important thing is to move on, and for Annie that means treating herself to a tropical vacation. But when she runs into her ex and his new woman staying at the same resort, reason is washed out to sea. Caught off guard, Annie pretends she's with Chris, a cute screenwriter she meets on the beach. With his own writing blocked, Chris is happy to help Annie craft a story to save face. Soon Annie isn't just getting over her ex, she's getting under Chris. As her fictional feelings grow increasingly real, Annie has to decide if she's ready to risk her heart on a new relationship.
This book could have been a miss for me based on the unlikable Double T's (Trev and Tess or Tress OMG😂😂😂) That's Trevv with 2 VV's!! I don't think I've ever hated an antagonist as much as I hated these two. They were horrible, down to the fact that "Trevv" bordered on creepy, stalker, "I-want-to-make-a-skin-suit-out-of-you-while-you-aren't-looking" type of guy. So many times in this book I wanted to yell "Anne, grow a spine, you weak nit!!" Trevv sleeps with a partner in his firm while Anne and him are dating and she pulls the Ellen Pompeo, Grey's Anatomy "Be with me, Date me, Love me" card. I would have taken the knife that she carried up those stairs while Nippleclamp Trevv and Rodeo Tess were getting it on and chopped it off Lorena Bobbett style🔪🔪🔪🔪...Now, maybe that's just me but let's see who's whining now!!! To all the women out there who have ever wanted to beat down a skinny, perfect-haired, botox-induced broad because she stole your man - DON"T READ THIS BOOK! You have been warned. You will throw your kindle in the trash after running it through the food processor. I almost did this 1o times and I've never been cheated on. So if you have....read this in a tiny room with no hacksaws, food processors, paper shredders, sharp objects or fire....yes you read that right. All through this book I kept asking myself "Why doesn't she kick Creepy Trevv in the nuts?" Or better yet - rip off those babymakers and make the world a safer place? Are some women like that? If you are and you're out there - there's help for you!!! Just don't read this...skip to the end of the book LOL.
A little about the book: Anne goes on Holiday and meets Chris who's a writer and after telling an astronomical lie that he's her "pretend boyfriend" to keep Creepy Trevv from perving on them through the trees of their penthouse suite...hilarity and fun ensues. There's a lot of angst and Anne not feeling good enough about herself because of Pervy Trevv and Botox Tess however Chris is a gem of a guy so he makes up for it. Her friends are one in a million and it's worth it to check out the book for all of them. I could have really done without the Twinsies (Tress) but then the book wouldn't have been the same because I was laughing out loud at some places over the fact that Trevv broke in their room to "catch" them not sleeping in the same bedroom. He really was a douche. Or when Chris delivers them the drink Slippery Nipples because...Nippleclamp LOL!!🍼 The fake wedding they have will have you pumping your fist in the air and shouting Breakfast Club style. After a mistake and misunderstanding, a lot of growing on both their parts they find their happy ending. True love prevails for Chris who doesn't believe it exists but it's a long road.
Final thoughts: This author was new to me, I had no preconceived notions going in so it could have been a total miss but I'm glad it wasn't. Buy this book but stay away from anything remotely electrical, fire related or power-related while reading. You might keep looking at the man your with like he's a little bug after reading the parts with Creepy Trevv....just a forewarning. Enjoy because Jo Watson did an awesome job!
I was given a copy of this ARC from the publisher on Netgalley for a honest review. All of the above comments are my express opinions and no one else's.
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